


NOT THE FUCKING BEES DAMN YOU

by Fall_chan, Remenyke



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, MSPA, msp
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Sex, Pailing, inebriated, pailling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 08:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fall_chan/pseuds/Fall_chan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remenyke/pseuds/Remenyke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Karkat had a spiked faygo. Stuff happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	NOT THE FUCKING BEES DAMN YOU

**Author's Note:**

> [Impromptu roleplay between Fall-chan and I x> He was having muffins. I was trying to get him to sleep. It got a little out of hand.]

TA: I got hungry  
TA: So I got a muffin  
CG: you're eating it now?  
TA: Yeth  
CG: hahahaha  
CG: yeth?  
CG: lisp in typing?? xDD  
TA: Yeth  
TA: I am Thollux Captor  
CG: YOU SHOULD BE SLEEPING ASSHOLE!  
TA: When a Captor ii2 hungry, a Captor get2 food  
CG: SINCE WHEN DID YOU START SPEAKING IN THIRD PERSON?  
TA: II'm not 2peakiing iin thiird per2on, a22wiipe.  
CG: SURE SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE  
TA: Go two hell, half-wiit. II got hungry 2o II got 2ome food. Get over iit.  
CG: I STILL DON'T GET HOW YOU CAN SURVIVE LIVING IN THE SAME SPACE AS A SWARM OF BEES  
CG: AREN'T THEY FLYING CIRCLES AROUND YOU HEAD OR SOMETHING?  
TA: Dude, get a hold of your2elf. The bee2 make the miind honey that my lu2u2 eat2. II let them do theiir bu2iine22 and they iignore me. The bee2 and II have a profe22iional relatiion2hiip.  
CG: WHO KNOWS IF THEY'RE SPIKING YOUR FOOD WHILE YOU AREN'T LOOKING HUH? WHAT IF THEY ARE SLOWLY POISONING YOU WITH MIND HONEY TO MAKE YOU DEGRADE INTO A RAVING LUNATIC? HAVE YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT?  
TA: Oh plea2e KK, iif they really wanted two do that, they'd ju2t 2tiing me two death. Miind bee2 make miind honey, iidiiot.  
CG: WHAT IF THEY'RE PART OF SOME TOP SECRET SOCIETY THAT IS PLOTTING TO DESTROY ALL OF US SO THEY CAN TAKE OVER ALTERNIA? WHAT IF YOU ARE ONE OF THEIR TOOLS TO DO THAT? WHAT IF THEIR MIND HONEY IS PROGRAMMING YOU TO THINK THEY'RE HELPING YOU WHEN ACTUALLY THEY HAVE TAKEN OVER YOUR MIND?  
TA: KK, you're overreacting. The bee2 really do help. And be2iide2, why do you care? II thought you'd want two 2ee me go raving mad becau2e of 2ome 2tupiid rea2on. (Liike bee2 actually have the capabiiliity of miind two plot 2omethiing liike that)  
CG: WHY WOULD I WANT TO SEE YOU RAVING MAD. WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR BASTARD? I DON'T MIND YOU BECOMING RETARDED, SURE BUT NOT CRAZY. DOES HAVING AN INSANE HETEROCHROMIC, PSYCHIC ASSHOLE ON THE LOOSE SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO YOU? NO I DIDN'T THINK SO  
TA: KK  
CG: AND THE FUCKING BEES PRODUCES 'MIND HONEY' WHAT DO YOU THINK? OF COURSE THEY ARE SMART ENOUGH TO CONSPIRE LIKE THE LITTLE EVIL BASTARDS THEY ARE  
TA: 2hut up  
CG: ...  
CG: DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP  
TA: Ii'll tell you two 2hut up all II want  
TA: And you'll lii2ten two me  
TA: Or ii'll tell everyone what we diid  
CG: GODDAMMIT HERE I AM TRYING TO SAVE YOUR FUCKING ASS FROM THE EVIL BEES AND-  
CG: WHAT?  
CG: WHAT DID WE DO?  
TA: *2nort2*  
TA: Really KK?  
TA: You don't remember all that 'fun' we had together?  
CG: WHAT? WHAT FUN? WHAT DID WE DO?  
TA: Holy 2hiit...you were more wa2ted than II thought...  
CG: IS THIS ABOUT THAT TIME I GOT DRUNK ON THOSE SPIKED FAYGO?  
TA: Haha yeah. But II diidn't thiink you were THAT drunk. You 2eriiou2ly don't remember a thiing?  
CG: NOT A SINGLE FUCKING THING  
CG: SOLLUX WHAT DID I DO?  
TA: Heheh...  
CG: SOLLUX ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?  
TA: We...kiinda...  
CG: KINDA WHAT?  
TA: Wow thiis ii2 awkward  
CG: TELL ME OR DO I HAVE TO RESORT TO TYPING IN LOWERCASE TO EMPHASIZE ON HOW SERIOUS I AM HERE?  
TA: II paiiled you, man.  
CG: WHAT??  
TA: Hey, II told you.  
CG: YOU- YOU WHAT THE FUCK?!  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK?  
TA: Dude, you came onto me, not the other way around.  
CG: WHAT- HOW- WHAT  
CG: I CAME ONTO YOU?! WHAT THE FUCK?!  
CG: I SWEAR IF YOU'RE MAKING THIS UP I AM GOING TO FUCKING GO TO WHERE YOU ARE AND FUCKING CASTRATE YOUR DAMNED NOOK  
TA: Do you want me two 2end you a piicture?  
CG: THERE IS NO WAY, NO WAY IN BLEEDING HELL I AM ATTRACTED TO YOU IN ANY FUCKING WAY  
CG: GO AHEAD PROVE ME WRONG DIPSHIT  
CG: I'M SHARPENING MY SICKLE  
TA: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx5a8gI1z21r81xv8o1_500.png   
CG: …  
CG: YOU EDITED THAT PICTURE  
CG: THAT'S NOT ME  
TA: Dude, why would II ediit a piicture of U2 fuckiing?  
CG: BECAUSE YOU ARE SICK AND YOU LIKE TO FUCK WITH MY HEAD  
CG: WHO DID YOU GET TO POSE THERE HUH? WHICH BITCHFACE LET YOU DO THAT JUST SO YOU CAN COME UP WITH THIS FAKE BLACKMAIL?  
TA: KK, 2top. II wouldn't do that, you're ju2t makiing up shiit now.  
CG: OR YOU DID THAT TO FULFILL YOUR SECRET KINK OR SOMETHING  
TA: Iif you really don't want two beliieve iit, fiine. Iit diidn't happen.  
CG: …did we really?  
TA: ...ye2  
CG: ...  
CG: fuck  
TA: .......  
TA: Now 2hiit ii2 all awkward...  
CG: i was wondering why my ass was covered with suspicious goop  
CG: ...  
TA: X////////x  
TA: That2 iit  
TA: 2o done  
CG: ¬__¬  
CG: what? what kind of reaction were you hoping for?  
TA: II don't know...  
TA: 2ome 2ort of confe22iion?  
TA: II gue22 II got my hope2 up  
CG: c-confession  
CG: you were hoping for a confession  
CG: does that mean you have one for me?  
TA: ...  
TA: Yeah  
CG: …ok  
CG: so maybe i have one for you  
TA: ....  
TA: You're not jokiing, riight?  
CG: i'm not typing in caps  
CG: that ought to count for something  
TA: Yeah, but you could al2o be two lazy to pre22 the cap2 button again...  
CG: I CAN SWITCH IT ON IF I WANT TO  
CG: but i'm not  
CG: i'm being serious here  
TA: Ok ok 2orry  
CG: …so yeah  
TA: II'm ju2t nervou2  
CG: ugh fuck i can't do this awkward shit anymore  
CG: i like you ok?  
CG: flushed for you  
TA: Hehe  
CG: what  
TA: II liike you two KK  
CG: …i suppose this is where we're supposed to be spewing romantic confessions for each others disgusting habits that no one should ever see?  
TA: Eww, no. You 2till annoy the fuck outta me. But you are kiinda cute 2ometimes  
CG: you too i guess  
TA: XD  
TA: 2o.....  
TA: Ii2 thii2 going two be an actual thiing?  
TA: Mate2priits and everythiing?  
CG: …yeah sure  
CG: why not?  
CG: we've already jumped the figurative gun anyway  
TA: Ok  
TA: Doe2 thii2 mean II get two paiil you again? ;)  
CG: ...  
CG: ...  
CG: what the fuck  
CG: that's direct  
TA: *2hrug2* a guy ha2 hii2 need2  
CG: FUCK YOU  
CG: YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO ME WHILE YOU ARE HORNY?  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK?  
TA: Hehehe <3 u two KK  
CG: ARE YOU JERKING OFF?  
CG: RIGHT NOW?  
CG: WHILE TALKING TO ME?  
TA: Hahaha no way man!  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK….  
TA: II'm waiitiing for you two come and do iit for me ;)  
CG: !!??  
CG: I'M NOT GOING OVER TO YOUR PLACE  
TA: Oh? Afraiid of the miind bee2? XD  
TA: How about II go over there?  
CG: YES  
CG: I MEAN NO  
CG: NO I WAS ANSWERING YOUR PREVIOUS QUESTION  
TA: 2ee you iin a biit KK  
TA: ;)  
CG: NO  
CG: NO NONONO  
CG: NO DON'T COME OVER HERE  
CG: I'M WARNING YOU  
CG: SOLLUX STAY IN YOUR HIVE  
CG: DUDE  
CG: DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE ALREADY OUT OF YOUR HIVE  
CG: SOLLUX  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]\--  
CG: SHIT


End file.
